


Blessed Or Cursed?

by ItsMeGetOverIt



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fitz protective of Skye, Friendship, Hurt, Jemma confiding in Bobbi, Miscommunication, Not A Happy Ending, Season 1, Season 2, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, questioning destiny, same same but different
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-27 02:51:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8384419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsMeGetOverIt/pseuds/ItsMeGetOverIt
Summary: When Jemma Simmons was six years old she thought the idea of soulmates was wonderful and romantic and all anyone could ever hope for- surely those who knew there was someone out there perfect for them were blessed beyond measure.Then she turned nine, her parents took her to an animæ and her mark became a soul verbis. Then she didn’t see it as a blessing. Having a soulmate was curse.Jemma Simmons knew she was cursed.--Leopold Fitz knew he was different since he was six years old. He was the only one in his whole home town to have a soulmaker. Sure, the town wasn't very large, but he was the only one out of a couple thousand people to have one, adults and kids both.Less than a year later his mum took him see an animæ. And then the words were revealed. His extra different-ness was revealed.My own take on the whole Soulmate Universe- fits within cannon, but with some added bits.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying my hand at the Soulmate Universe thing. I don't know if there's actually a source for how these stories are are meant to work, but I've put my own spin on it. I'm playing within cannon, and I have another chapter in-progress but don't know if there's interest, and a possible idea for a third chapter, but I kinda still need to finish off the second chapter before I should even been checking if people would want to read more.  
> This is something I've been adding snippets to when my mind hasn't focused on others things it really should have for a number of months now. And as I was going over another bit I felt like I had enough to share a chapter and seek feedback. Never really tried this, so am interested in thoughts.

{J.SIMMONS I}-

When Jemma Simmons was six years old she thought the idea of soulmates was wonderful and romantic and all anyone could ever hope for. She was so excited to discover her very own _soulmark_! After all not everyone got soulmarks or met their soulmate- she was the only one in her family to have one-, surely those who knew there was someone out there perfect for them were blessed beyond measure.

Then she turned nine, her parents took her to an _animæ_ and her mark became a _soul verbis_. Then she didn’t see it as a blessing. Having a soulmate was curse.

Jemma Simmons knew she was cursed.

It was a curse to know that one day she was going to feel like her heart was being ripped from her chest while she was still alive and forced to go on living. There was someone somewhere out there who was going to complete her and one day they were going to leave her.

_"The day you find he's your soulmate is the day you will lose him. And a part of you will never recover from that day."_

Those words haunt her almost as much as the ones revealed on that day and forever marked on her body- seared onto her soul. And haunt her they did for three years. When she turned twelve Jemma came to a startlingly simple and brilliant realisation; you can't find something you don't go looking for.

So she wouldn't look. She wouldn't go _looking_ for her soulmate. Instead she would dedicate her life to something worthwhile; her career.

She would dedicate herself to learning- to knowledge. With knowledge comes power, and with power she could overcome this curse. She dedicated herself to learning all she could on how the soulmarks worked; it was a natural phenomenon so the root must be in natural science.

Why were there different kinds? How did it know who to mark? It wasn't like an infection that would sweep through a group of people marking them, or that it was something you were born with and revealed once you reached an age or had any biological triggers that people had hidden in their DNA. Both marks and words were revealed to different people at different ages. So, what caused it? How could it form markings on a person's body in the exact shape of words? How did it know the last words someone would say to another? Or the first? How did it create a link between a person at any point in their life and that specific moment of pain or joy at the revelation of the words being spoken? Why were some people linked to joy, and others pain?

Before Jemma knew it she was seventeen, had two PhDs and still no real answers. There wasn't much about the human body (or most of the natural word) she didn't know or understand on a biological or chemical level except how these _bloody_ soulmarkers worked!

Then SHIELD approached her. They weren't offering her answers but within their folds they could offer her two other things; a way to continue searching beyond conventional means and security in never finding her soulmate.

An organisation that was always the first on the scene of any discovery or interaction with something, living or non-living, of extraterrestrial origin could provide her with a wealth of opportunities to get the answers she still sought. How could she pass on that? Not even bothering too much with the thought that an organisation that dealt with people on a _surname basis_ practically ensured she wouldn't find her soulmate. If she was never on a first-name basis then he could never say _those words_ , she would never see the curse realised.

Jemma Simmons would simply never let herself fall in love and would therefore avoid that searing pain that would come from losing her soulmate. She was far too busy with her work for something like love or soulmates anyways.

**_'AND YOU ARE MORE THAN THAT JEMMA AND I COULDN'T FIND THE COURAGE SO PLEASE LET ME SHOW YOU IT'S OKAY JEMMA JEMMA JEMMA JEMMA COME ON WE HAVE TO HURRY TAKE IT JEMMA TAKE IT TAKE IT'_ **

*-*-*

{J.SIMMONS II}

[01x06- FZZT]

"Hey, it's not the device!" Fitz cried defensively. A look of indignation crossed his face. "Hey, don't put this on me! I was doing just fine tucked away in a safe, indoor, non-mobile lab at the Academy. Then you had to go and drag us into this flying circus!" Jemma could hear his breath was getting ragged. "Didn't even pass our field assessments for gods' sakes."

"Oh please," she scoffed back. "As if I forced you to follow me anywhere."

Why would someone like Fitz do that? He was brilliant enough to get anywhere all by himself. He didn't need her. Never had.

And now never would.

"You said, and I quote; 'Oh Fitz, it's the most perfect opportunity for us to see the world! We'd be fools to pass this one up'."

Jemma levelled the best glare she could manage while she put the equipment she was using down.

"I hate it when you use that voice. That's not even how I sound."

Equipment now down, she moved to the glass wall separating them; keeping him safe.

"And you were just afraid of going into the field." He made some noise of protest at her saying he was afraid, but she just kept speaking over him. "And don't you dare act like these past few months haven't been the highlight of your pasty life."

Because they certainly had been hers. Every day beside Fitz. Feeling like everything was just perfect with their lives; their own world on the BUS. She didn't feel cursed when she was working alongside Fitz in the lab. _Their_ lab.

"Pasty!" Fitz actually sounded offended. "Oh, really? Well, when did you become so sun kissed?"

Really? That's what he was going to get the most defensive about?

"Because I'm pretty sure that every minute of every day you've been stuck in a lab right beside me. At the Academy; at Sci-Ops; this plane; you've been beside me the whole damn time!"

Oh. She has! Can she even think of a day in the last ten years when she hasn't been with, spoken to, or thought about Fitz? He makes her forget that ache in her side. The ache of her soulbond. How has she never noticed that before?

Turning around she quickly returns to the equipment.

"You have to fix this," he said weakly.

"I don't know how," she confessed softly.

…

"Would you mind if I had a brief moment alone with Fitz?" Jemma softly asked the rest of the team watching her behind the glass.

If she had to die now, like this, let her have a final moment with him.

The four looked at her with sympathy and pity. Jemma hated that she couldn't even scrounge up the strength to be indignant about it. She had to get through this time she needed to have with Fitz.

May nodded, and Ward gave her a final look before heading to the stairs. May put a hand on Skye's shoulder, starting to guide her away. Jemma thought her friend looked like she might objected, but a soft, 'let's go,' from Coulson had her moving away.

Watching Coulson's feet, the last to ascend the stairs, disappear from her view Jemma wiped away the tear that had managed to escape. She could do this.

The ringing that she had been ignoring up until this point got louder again.

But she had to do this. She loved Fitz. If he was her soulmate then that means he would try and give her something in a final self-sacrificing bid. She couldn't let him do that.

And if not…

Well he was the closest thing she was going to find to one before her end.

Moving quietly, she watched Fitz get to work at the bench they'd just been working over together.

"We'll try again," he said firmly. "The electrostatic pulse from the third rat seemed much less, so- we're making progress."

Jemma picked up the fire-extinguisher and stood behind him.

"If we can calibrate the… antiserum…"

She couldn't help the chocked sad laugh escaping her. "Antiserum, yes. You finally got it right Fitz."

His back seemed to straighten at her words. Giving her a perfect shot…

"I'm so sorry."

Quickly she brought the fire-extinguisher down onto his neck. He gave out a cry and collapsed onto the lab floor.

Not pausing she dropped the blunt instrument and rushed to the door. Putting in a timed lock on the lab doors she rushed about the cargo hold. Having pushed the button to lower the ramp she stood on the edge.

Looking out at the Atlantic Ocean that stretched below her, and the plane, she couldn't help but look back to Fitz one last time. With the sound of the wind rushing past her and the buzzing at an almost deafening level she didn't stand a chance of hearing anything.

In the lab she could see Fitz had woken and discovered her lock. Even if she couldn't hear him she could see that his lips weren't forming the words seared on the side of her body.

This was her last moment and Fitz wasn't her soulmate.

Nowhere in her words did it say anything about an antiserum. Or was a cry of pain.

And that was okay. He didn't need to be her soulmate for him to mean the world to her. The last words were wrong, but he was the only one she wanted to live her life with.

That was the last thought she had before the wind swept her feet from under her and she began falling.

*-*-*

{L. FITZ II}

[01x13- T.R.A.C.K.S]

"Cyberteck knows we're here," he said realisation dawning on him while he stared at their useless devices.

"We have to warn our team," Skye immediately responds.

Nodding Fitz gets to his feet as he moves to lead Skye towards the carriage door and where Jemma and the rest of their team were.

The door at the end opened and he saw a figure standing there gun drawn.

"Fitz! Get down," Skye shouted.

Without giving it too much thought he ducked to the right behind the luggage shelves. While pulling his Night-Night gun out he saw Skye looking at him from the opposite nook. Sticking his hand around the corner he fired two shot towards the man. Not that he actually thought either would hit, but he could hope.

Skye pushed a luggage trolley down and followed it. Fitz thoughts raced. How were they going to subdue him? Neither of them were trained for this really. He had to get to Jemma and make sure she was okay. His side tingled, but he couldn't let that distract him.

Skye was pushed to the ground and Fitz launched himself in a rugby tackle at the Cyberteck agent. All it did was spear them into the luggage and barely threw the other agent off-balance. Once he had enough room the guy kneed Fitz's hand and his hand reflexively dropped the gun. Before he could think of a new strategy the guy had landed a punch to his jaw.

Pain exploded on the side of Fitz's face. He didn't lose consciousness but the room did spin and Fitz found himself on the floor of the carriage. Looking up at the man he saw him pull something from his blazer inner pocket, backing up.

"We've been made!" a voice from behind the agent called. Fitz felt his heart freeze at the words.

_NO!_

"Oh bloody hell," he heard Jemma softly exclaim.

He tried to call out to her. Fumbling over his own limbs he struggled to get to his feet. He had to warn her. Stop her. Do something. _Anything_ to prevent the next bit.

There were noises of a scuffle then the last part of the phrase inevitably came, "Everybody get down!"

No! Ohgodsohgodsohgods.

The pain in his side was gone.

NO!

It was Simmons. Of course it was Jemma Simmons. Who the blood hell else would it be? Why didn't he just believe the first situation? He felt the breath leave his lungs like he'd been sucker punched again as he saw her limp form on the ground. Who the hell else would even have their potential last words be about an **_antiserium_**? He should have accepted it then and got them out of the flying circus then. Why didn't he?

He should have…

Oh gods.

She just died in front of him to save his life.

How could she not realise she _was_ his life?

"She's okay," Skye sighed in relief from kneeling by her head.

Fitz felt air rush into his lungs at Skye's words. Shewasalaiveshewasalive. _She was alive._ He had to keep repeating it to himself as he stumbled towards the two women before him.

Feeling the warmth of her skin under his fingers reassured him more than anything else. The return of that dull ache in his side was such a wonderful relief that he almost wanted to laugh in joy at being in pain.

His eyes quickly scanned and found some soft looking luggage.

"Okay, hold her up," Fitz said finding his voice. He handed two over to Skye so she could put them under Jemma and make her more comfortable.

Suddenly he noticed something about her face. Turning he looked at the man who'd activated the grenade. His eyes had the same residue.

Picking up the empty grenade Fitz commented, "I think this is some form of dendrotoxin."

"The same stuff that's in the Night-Night gun?"

"Yeah, but it's clearly evolved. I think they made it airborne."

"Is that why their eyes are open?"

"I suppose if they were in some kind of black sleep that would make sense," Fitz theorised closing Jemma's eyes for her.

He had to remind himself that she was just _sleeping_. She would open her eyes again. _She would open her eyes again._

"We've got to get out of here," Skye commented coming back to herself before Fitz could manage. "Find the others and figure out what to do next."

**_"A bright flash of blue, surrounds her and will freeze the breath on her lips."_ **

"Yeah," Fitz agreed distractedly.

He couldn't lose focus now, or Jemma's risk will have been for nothing. As soon as this mission was over he was going to take this all more seriously. The Night-Night guns weren't enough anymore. Fitz wasn't going to let her tempt fate for a third time.

"Help me move Simmons first," he asks Skye. "Can't just leave her like this. Look at her little face. She'd be so embarrassed."

Fitz could see Skye was doing something to fuss over her, but he had to make sure she was prepared when she woke. He would not leave her defenceless. He would not easily let anything else happen to Jemma.

"We should leave her with something to protect herself. Just in case," Skye commented.

Obviously she reached the same thoughts as Fitz. But for the simple desire to protect her friend; not like Fitz. He had to protect his soulmate.

Checking the spare Night-Night gun he brought it back to where her prone form was laying.

"Yeah, I have a spare." Fitz placed it securely in Jemma's hand.

"What about him?" Skye asked, nodding her head to unconscious man.

The man who had nearly killed Jemma. Nearly killed his soulmate.

Fitz waved Skye off to look for the team while he took care of _him_.

Rummaging through the luggage Fitz found a crate large enough for a person. He emptied it and lugged the man into the crate. Looking down on him Fitz felt anger swell within his chest.

This man had nearly killed Jemma.

If the grenade had been filled with anything other than dendrotoxin it would have been fatal.

He levelled his gun and shot him twice.

"That's for Simmons," he muttered.

He shut the lid and did everything he could to put any further thought of him out of his mind. He and Skye had to find the rest of the team. They had a mission to finish, and then Fitz was going to make sure nothing and no one would take Jemma away from him; from his side, again.

*-*-*

{J.SIMMONS III}

[01x13-T.R.A.C.K.S.]

Moving quickly to the front of the train Jemma had just reached the luggage carriages calling out to Skye and Fitz, "We've been made!"

Jemma had half a second to process the fact there was someone else in the compartment with them and he had just activated something. Something like a grenade.

"Oh bloody hell!"

Not giving herself a chance to even think she grabbed the man and kept whatever it was between them. She couldn't let him hurt Fitz or Skye!

Distantly she heard Fitz call out her name in a panic. With renewed strength she push the man's hand between them and hugged him tightly shouting a warning; "Everybody get down!"

Then a blue cloud filled her vision.

Suddenly it was dark and Jemma snapped her eyes open. She has to protect Fitz… and Skye. Somehow she now had a Night-Night gun her hand.

"Everyone get down!" she cried out as she let out one shot forward. Turning she saw someone move and let off another shot.

"Simmons stop!"

Wait, that wasn't a voice she'd been expecting.

Coulson? What was he doing here? How could he have come from that way? He'd headed towards the back of the train, while she'd been heading towards the front.

Lowering the weapon she saw Ward and May were also with Coulson. Breathing deeply she tried to slow her racing heart.

Looking around the carriage not seeing either of the people she'd been expecting to see she gasped out the question, "Where are Fitz and Skye?"

*-*-*

{L.FITZ III}

[1x22- Beginning of the End]

Fitz took a few quick deep breathes before he put the last touches to the defibrillator while saying, "Alright we need to hurry. We have to do this soon. There has to be enough…"

He turned to face Jemma while she attached the last of the wires to the glass casing.

"Oxygen to ignite, yes."

"Yeah. Good. Okay."

Don't think too hard about what you're exactly going to do, Fitz kept telling himself. Don't think about how these will be your last moment with Jemma.

"When I press that power button…"

"The window will blow in, and water will rush in at once," Jemma finished for him.

"Yeah, which is gonna be like 100 punches to the stomach, okay?" he tried to stress that to her. "The wind's gonna be knocked right out of us." He reached behind him grabbing the oxygen canister he'd modified. "This is nearly empty, but I've rigged it to let out a burst of very high pressure. It should force a breath into your lungs, but you have to hold onto it, okay? Hold on tight. Should be enough to get you up the 90 feet or so."

"One breath?" she asked, already sounding a bit breathless. "But there's two of us."

"Yeah, I've done the math."

He couldn't believe he was even thinking about how he didn't want to think about the maths. The odds of them both getting out of this alive where practically non-existent. He had better odd of her being his returned soulmate with a _mutate verba_ bond than of getting out of this alive and whole.

"That's why you're taking it. You're a better swimmer anyway," he slipped into a bit of a bough as he started to become nervous.

"No."

"Jemma…" he really didn't want their last moments to be arguing.

"No," she cut him off, "I'm not leaving you here. That's ridiculous. We need a new plan."

"We're not discussing it, okay? You're taking it. End of story."

He could _not_ let his soulmate die. Jemma would not die today. Not even if he really had his way.

"I couldn't live if you didn't."

"I feel the same way."

Fitz's heart lurched and his side felt itchy, oh if only she did.

"There has to be another way," she pressed.

"You're taking it," he said softly but firmly.

"Why would you make me do this? You're my best friend in the world!"

"Yeah, and you're more than that, Jemma."

He watched her breath catch. Her eyes widened and it looked like panic was entering her eyes Fitz couldn't stop himself from sighing. She was so much more than just his best friend.

"I couldn't find the courage to tell you. So please. Let me show you."

He couldn't be brave and strong like Ward, all he had was his brains and his feelings. He could only use what he had. And this was the best way he could possibly think of showing her. A sniff escaped Jemma's lips and she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug.

"It's okay," he tried to placate her.

"No. No," she begged into his shoulder before she pulled back and started leaving a trail of kisses around his face.

Her lips felt like they were leaving a permanent mark on him. These last moments were going to be sealed on him forever in whatever came next. Then she was sobbing into his shoulder again.

"Jemma, Jemma, we have to hurry," he tried to get her to focus again.

"No! No!" she kept begging him.

Why did she have to make this so hard? He didn't want to die, but he would not willingly let her take his place. She had to survive this.

"Take it, Jemma. Take it."

"No! No!"

Despite her continued objection he managed to get her arms away from around his neck. She was a blotch sobbing mess, but it was still the most beautiful sight he was ever going to see. She looked at the canister in one hand, the other clutching her side. Fitz sighed and she slowly raised her head so they could make eye contact. He gave her the best smile he could muster up away from all the fear over what was about to happen next. Searing her hazel eyes forever into his consciousness. This was right. Dying to save his soulmate. The woman he loves.

Turning quickly he pushed the red button.

"NO!" she began to scream, but it was soon washed away by the sound of the glass seal exploding and rushing water.

Fitz went willingly into the darkness that consumed him.

*-*-*

{J.SIMMONS IV}

[post 01x22-Beginning of the End]

It had been nine days since they were pulled from the ocean. Nine days since Fitz had said _those_ words to her. Nine days of her sitting in this chair beside him unwilling to leave his side. Since he confirmed both her greatest wish and deepest fear.

Fitz was her soulmate.

And here was his pale lifeless body before her.

Nine days since she'd looked into those impossibly perfect blue eyes.

Why couldn't he just wake!?! She would do anything just to see those eyes open again. Even if this meant she had to leave him for some ridiculous reason like they always give in movies or fairy-tale. She could carry on in her life somehow if she just knew that Fitz was okay.

"Please," she begged again holding his cool hand in hers. "Please just wake. Come back to me Fitz."

How many times had she made this plea to his unresponsive form? She lost count after the first time May had forcibly removed her from the room. And that was after she'd punched the new director when he'd tried to get her to leave.

She just needed to see his blue eyes open. She needed him to know that she was here. That she would do anything for him. That she was here beside him the whole time. That he was so much more than just her best friend too.

She'd tell him all this if he'd _just wake up!_

She tried to fight the darkness that was closing in on her from all directions. No. She couldn't sleep. What if he woke while she was asleep? What if someone tried to take her from him then? What if Ward got out and came to finish him off? She had to stay here and keep him safe! She had to hear him saying something. _Anything _! Just so those weren't his last words.__

Please. Please don't let them be his last words. Try as she might the darkness of sleep kept creeping up on her. She couldn't fight sleep indefinitely. Logically she knew this, but she had to _try_.

Turning her head she heard a noise in the doorway. Expecting to see Skye or Trip standing there with some food, Jemma's heart raced when they landed on the cold hard eyes of Ward.

"You just can't stay dead can you little monkey," he sighed.

The once teasing tone and friendly moniker now sounding so ominous and threatening. He wasn't their protector. He was the threat.

Jemma leapt to her feet to defend him. She couldn't let Ward hurt Fitz again.

Somehow Ward seemed large enough to fill the whole doorway. She looked up to him angry and defiant. She _wouldn't_ let him hurt Fitz again!

"I guess I'll just to make it permanent this time," he promised steel in his voice.

"You stay away from him!" Jemma cried.

Ward either didn't hear her or he didn't see her as a threat. Jemma wasn't sure which filled her with more dread.

Grabbing the nearest thing she could find, the chair she'd just been seated in, she held it over her shoulder.

"Stay away from him!"

She brought the chair towards him as hard as she could. Halfway through her swing Ward struck back at her. Her hardest throw hadn't been anything to him. With one swing of his arm he sent her flying across the room.

In a heap on the floor she struggled to her feet. It felt like Ward was moving too fast, or maybe she moving too slow? By the time she got to her feet he had a pillow over Fitz's face.

The machine's alarms began to blare. Fitz wasn't breathing!

She punched and put all her weight into getting his arm away from the pillow. She had to get air back to Fitz!

A backhand from Ward sent her fly across the room again into the chair. As she sat up she heard the machine flat line.

"How's that?" Ward chuckled. "He _can_ die just as easily as that." Lifting the pillow up, he turned the machine off before facing her. "Don't you feel better now Simmons? Now your side doesn't ache anymore. You're free of this. And more importantly he's free of _you_."

Her side _did_ no longer ach. But that meant…

No!

Not Fitz, please!

Nonononononononononono.

_"NO! FITZ!"_

Jemma sat up with a bolt of fright her arms flaying around her. She had to protect Fitz!

"Jemma! It's okay, Jemma you're okay! You're safe! Fitz is safe!"

It took her far too long for Jemma's liking to realise she was back in her bunk. May sat on the bed beside her. She kept a respective distant, but was close enough to stop Jemma from unintentionally hurting herself.

"May?" she inquired breathlessly.

"Yeah, it's me." She waited for Jemma to get her breath back under her control. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Jemma answered tersely.

"Okay," May nodded serenely. "Coulson is sitting with Fitz. Why don't you grab a shower and something to eat before you return to his side? A moment more won't do any harm."

Nodding numbly Jemma realised she hadn't showered since they were pulled from the ocean by Fury. Which was rather disgusting when she stopped to think about it.

When she first stepped into the shower the cold water made her heart race.

_No._

She wasn't in the ocean. Her body was aching from the weariness that comes from inaction, not from swimming ninety feet on one breath.

Once the water warmed she could control both her heart rate and breathing better. She showered quickly. Changing into clean clothes and stepping back into her room she had to admit she _did_ feel better. The simplest things were some of the greatest treasures.

Someone rapped on her door as she was putting her shoes on and deciding what she could quickly grab from the kitchens.

Skye stuck her head in and excitedly exclaimed, "Fitz has woken."

What?!?

She leapt to her feet and bolted for the door. Vaguely she realised that someone, most likely Trip, had carried her all the way to her bunk. But all she could focus on was Skye's words.

He's awake! Hesawakehesawakehesawake.

She burst into his hospital room and finally she saw them! A breath of relief filled her. Blue eyes looked over at her.

But they weren't the eyes she was expecting.

They weren't filled with love, friendship, or their silent understanding.

No.

These eyes were filled with hurt and confusion. And… and what was that last emotion he was trying to hide from her?

The breath of relief that had just filled her fled her as fast once she recognised it.

_Betrayal._

His eyes flickered over to Coulson who sat in the chair she'd spent so much of the last nine days in. When they landed on Coulson she saw gratitude and comrade return to their blue depths.

_NO!_

In that one instance she knew. She realised what had happened in those moments since his waking and now.

Fitz's silent accusation hit her like a sucker punch.

'You weren't here. You don't want to be here. I'm nothing but an obligation to you.'

 _No!_ She wanted to cry. Why couldn't he understand she would never chose to leave his side?

**"The day you find he's your soulmate is the day you will lose him. And a part of you will never recover from that day."**

She plastered on a smile bright as she could manage while she felt her heart break.

She may have gotten Fitz back. He may be alive. But really…

Really she still lost her souldmate at the bottom of the ocean nine days ago. Because whatever connected them up until that moment- it was now gone.

Unless…

Unless he _wasn't_ her soulmate! If he isn't her soulmate and those weren't the last words he said to her then she can still have him in her life!

Yes! That _must_ be it. Fitz isn't her soulmate because she has to say goodbye to her soulmate and she won't say goodbye to Fitz.

They will get back what they once had, and Jemma will resume her life with Fitz by her side _not_ looking for her soulmate because she doesn't need one as long as she has Fitz beside her.

She's never needed anyone but Fitz in her life.

And she doesn't want to think on that too closely because he's awake and she needs to be there for him. She'll be there for as long as he needs her.


	2. Chapter 2

{L.FITZ I}-

Leopold Fitz knew he was different since he was six years old. He was the only one in his _whole_ home town to have a soulmaker. Sure, the town wasn't very large, but he was the only one out of a couple thousand people to have one, adults and kids both.

The morning he woke up with it was scary. He didn't know what this weird thing suddenly on his body was. Neither did his mum. The local doctor had never seen one, but she could calm both of them reassuring them that it wasn't anything deadly.

Less than a year later his mum took him see an _animæ_. And then the words were revealed. His _extra_  differentness was revealed.

The _animæ_ had never head of someone having _two_ sets of words! Not two soulmates, he quickly reassured the stunned seven year old. But two situations would could potentially take his soulmate away from him.

_'A bright flash of blue, surrounds her and will freeze the breath on her lips. The first will make you wonder, despite the words you will still doubt, if it doesn't actually take her. But it is in the second that you will see her. You will realise it was always her.'_

Young Fitz's heart lurched at the seers words. That meant he had a _soul verbus_. The potential last words his soulmate would ever say to him. _Twice_.

Not one to sit idly by, he did his own research. Was there ever a case of a soulmate with a _soul verbus_  not actually dying after saying the words on their mate's body? It took him over seven years of on and off research before he found an answer that satisfied both his romantic heart and scientific mind.

Myths, and fairy tales spoke of a third option in soulmarks a _mutate verba_. There had been no documented evidence of such a maker existing since. But all myths and fairy tales had a foundation in the real word. Didn't they?

That's how at fourteen he ended up before the same _animæ_  that had revealed the words on his body eight years earlier. The seer was surprised. Not just seeing the boy again, but at the solid argument he had for how his mark could not be a _soul verbus_ but a _mutate verba_. The _animæ_ conceded his arguments, but warned him from believing that the events which marked his body aren't as dangerous as a _soul verbus_. The stories did speak of the other option, but there was still a real, _deadly_ , threat that pressed the words onto the soulbond. Near death experiences always changed people; soulbonds or not. And there was another reason _mutate verba_  were rare. The kind of soulbond that could even fight off death?

People with soulmarkers were one in two million of people born. A reciprocated soulbond was every five million soulmarks. And a soulbond strong enough to even challenge death was one in ten million soulmarks. For two people to be each other's and also be strong enough to survive a death experience? The seer couldn't calculate that and cautioned him on hoping for such a bond.

Fitz nods his head, but hope still swells within him. He could find her; confirm it's her _and_ get his happily ever after. All he had to do was fight to keep them together.

He wouldn't give up that. Never.

Together they could turn this curse into a blessing.

 

**_'ANTISERIUM YES YOU FINALLY GOT IT RIGHT FITZ I'M SO SORRY'_ **

**_'WE'VE BEEN MADE OH BLOODY HELL EVERYBODY GET DOWN'_ **

*-*-*

{J.SIMMONS V}

[2x06-A Fracture House]

Jemma tried to push away the burning disappointment at the state of things between her and Fitz. They would get back there. They would. She had to keep believing that.

And the best way for them to get back to how things used to be would be for her to bring a peace offering of tea. Made just how he liked it.

Assuming _that_  hadn't changed too.

"Jemma," Skye called while descending the stairs. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, hi."

Jemma doesn't know if she can tell the complete truth to her. Could Skye possibly understand? The look she was giving Jemma in that moment it didn't feel like it.

"It's nothing, I'm fine. Really. I should get back to work."

"Okay…" Skye drew the words out, a silent judgement in her words.

Jemma hated that she let out a sniffle but decided to plough through and confide _something_  in Skye, "Working together. I thought it would be good for us. Like old times, you know?"

"Sometimes it catches up with me too."

It caught up with Skye that the man she was in love with and was her soulmate was gone? He was there before her, but forever gone? That he could be <i> _right there <i>_ in front of her, but at the same time have an impossible chasm between them. That she had both saved him and lost him.

"Yes, well. It's to be expected isn't it? I'm not sure why I thought…"

She had a _soul verbis_. How could she really think they might have escaped that?

No. She just had to think he wasn't actually her soulmate. Then she could know they would get past this difficult time.

Together.

"It's just after what Ward did to him."

The barely containable anger and anguish that coursed through her veins at the simple _thought_  of **_him_**  frightened her. Quickly she took a deep calming breath. She needed to push this all down. Not focus on the pain that still lingered at her side. Losing it over this would not help anything.

"You are allowed to be angry. You know that, right?"

Jemma felt the last inclination to share with Skye disappear as she realised Skye thought what she was upset about was Fitz's brain damage. She couldn't care what state he was in, she just wanted _her Fitz_  back. First and foremost she needed her friend.

"I do," she agreed defeated. "You know these past few months are the longest Fitz and I have been apart since we met. Isn't that a silly thing to think about?"

And where she struggled to survive without him, he had managed to find a way to not just survive, but thrive.

"That you miss him? No," she breathed. "But you should tell him that."

Skye made it sound so simple. As if things weren't complicated between them enough as it is now. She should tell him that she misses her soulmate and the possibility of what they could have had? But one look at her and Jemma knew Skye could never really understand.

"You Brits keep way too much to yourselves."

Jemma gave a humourless laugh. Right, _that_ 's what her problem was.

"Except Hunter. Is he even British? It's like he just doesn't stop talking."

"He does talk a lot," Jemma agreed, happy to have the focus off her. "And always about Bobbi. He's clearly very much over her, wouldn't you say?"

"I'm glad you're back."

"Yeah," Jemma agreed without conviction.

Was it really better now that she was back?

"I'm getting there," she offered.

She turned taking their teas and her peace offering back to the lab. Leaving Skye and her silent judgement behind.

*-*-*

{J.SIMMONS VI}

[02x09-…Ye Who Enter Here]

"So, how long were you two a thing?"

Jemma laughed nervously, she couldn't seriously be having this conversation. That was just crazy. Turning, she quickly looked for somewhere to prop the case on the other side of the room to distract her from this conversation. She shook her head and mentally cursed how her hands fumbled over the case latch.

"A thing? Fitz and I? No," that sounded a bit too harsh to her ears. "I mean we never…" Now she was too soft. Why couldn't she just be casual about this? "I never dreamed…"

"I'm gonna stop you right there," Bobbi interrupted her, and relief flooded Jemma, "because if this were an interrogation you would have given me about nine visual cues to put you away." Jemma resolutely avoided eye contact with the older woman concentrating on the D.W.A.R.F. she was checking. "Maybe ten." Jemma stilled. She was such a horrid liar. "Look, I know the story of what Ward did to you two. How Fitz's brain was damaged."

Jemma couldn't stop the way her shoulders tensed; if only it were just the brain damage.

Bobbi must have picked up on it.

"That's not your issue is it?"

"No," she confessed softly.

"So, what happened?"

Jemma sighed. Could she actually share this? This thing that she'd kept a secret for _so_ long? She was tired of bearing this burden alone, Skye had been friends with both of them so this kind of confession had never been an option for her to share. But Bobbi…

She was like the big sister Jemma had always wanted; her brother just didn't understand her and after her little sister… Jemma could see something in Bobbi's eyes that Skye could never manage; _no judgement_.

"We were in the bottom of the ocean in a storage pod left for dead," she started, her voice surprisingly steady as she relived the worst day of her life. "And Fitz," she sighed wearily not letting the emotions consume her. "He said something that caught me _completely_  off guard…"

"Oh," realisation coloured Bobbi's words, "Those three little words."

"Yes. Well, no," Jemma corrected. "I mean… not exactly."

**_'And you are more than that Jemma. And I couldn't find the courage to tell you. So please, let me show you. It's okay. Jemma. Jemma'_ **

"I barely had a moment to process what he was saying or how I felt about it."

**_'Jemma. Jemma come on. We have to hurry; take it Jemma. Take it. Take it'_ **

"Next thing I know he's giving me the oxygen and water is rushing in and… he's…" Jemma could see it all in her mind's eye. "He's lying there in a hospital bed; he's _so pale_."

Jemma didn't know how to describe the hell she'd been through so she went quiet.

"How long was Fitz in the coma?" Bobbi asked, gently.

"Nine of the longest days of my life," Jemma answered without pause. She sat down as she thought about how each of those hours by his bedside was seared in her memory. "When it finally broke he couldn't speak. He just stared at me confused." _Silently accusing._  "All I wanted to do was help him. All I wanted was my best friend back."

"Your best friend?" Bobbi pressed that knowing look so many people gave her whenever she referred to him as just her best friend in her eyes.

"I could never let him be anything other than that," Jemma explained, eyes pleading for Bobbi to understand. "I _need_  him to be just that, because if he isn't he'd have to be my…"

Jemma didn't think she could say it. Saying it made it real. She didn't want it to be Fitz. She didn’t want to lose Fitz. She couldn't survive that. And wasn't that the biggest indicator otherwise?

"He'd be…"

"What would Fitz be?" the older woman prompted.

Jemma put her head in her hands and whispered, "My soulmate."

The blonde looked confused at her words.

"You say that like it would be a bad thing."

"It is," the brunet immediately corrected her.

"Right," the blonde cocked an eyebrow at her. "Only people with soulmarks have soulmates; you know, that right?"

"I got my soulmark when I was six years old, and I have been dreading the day I'd find him since I was nine."

"Why?" Bobbi asked with all the shock that someone without such a mark on their body does. "How is finding out your best friend in the whole world is your soulmate; the one to _complete you_ , a bad thing?"

"I have a _soul verbis_!" Jemma shouted. "Do you know what that means? It means I have known the last words my soulmate was going to say to me since I was _nine years old_! I have lived with an ache in my side," she clutched the lower part of her right rib, where the words were, "both wishing for it to go and _dreading_  the day it did. Fearing the day it goes and leaves me lost and alone."

Jemma choked out a sob as all the big, confusing and messy feelings washed over her again like they had so many times since she was nine years old and been happening with increasing frequency since _that_  day.

"You have no idea the pain having a soulmark fills you with."

"True, but you could share it," Bobbi said.

"What?!"

"The soulmarker moment can be shared with someone else with direct skin on skin contact. I mean, I don't know if it's a normal soulmarker thing, but," Bobbi swayed her head fighting a grin, "I dated a guy who had one and shared the moment he would meet his. I didn't feel anything as intensely as he did, but it was a beautiful moment he eventually reached."

Jemma could only bite her lip. Did she want to share this? It would mean _someone_  could finally get a glimpse of what she'd been through. Could she share it? It sounded like this guy had a _soul initium_. Would the same technique work for a different bond?

"But, it's nothing scientific, so I don't know if it was just him that could do that or anything, and it would totally be your call."

Jemma nodded. She'd do it; even if it didn't work she could finally show _those words_  to someone else. Without hesitation Bobbi took a step forward and offered her hand out. The cursed soulmate took the offered hand, raised her top and pulled the hand on the words. Bobbi gasped as her fingers made contact with the soulmark.

_Music filled her head, it washed over her and filled her very being with a peaceful feeling; it sounded like a symphony in chorus, all perfectly in tune and harmonising beautifully together, tempo changed flawlessly. It was the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard, and she could feel it down to her very soul that this was perfection._

_Then there was a loud splash- followed by a bang._

_Suddenly, the same instruments could be heard, but they were painfully out of tune. It was like the musicians couldn't hear each other- like they couldn't get in tune with each other or were playing with instruments that were out of tune. The peace that could be found in the music previously was completely juxtaposed to this sound and the feeling it brought- like you could feel the musicians trying to be harmonious but they couldn't. One would go up to compensate while the other lowered too much to compensate the other way. Tempo changed and there was fast and slow not meeting or blending. It became painful to listen to. Each change was like a stab to the peace that had been washing over her before; Bobbi felt her eyes water at the pain that could be heard. Occasionally there were a couple of notes in tune- like they'd found their harmony again- but it was gone as fast as it came before the calm it inspired could take any root. The music kept going getting louder and louder, more harmonised notes could be heard amongst the cacophony of pain but it was spiralling out of control and gaining speed until there was a final burst of joyful harmony then…_

_Silence._

_Nothing but silence. It was deafening._

_Just before she removed her hand from Jemma's side there was a final deep note softly calling out to the harmony that had been there so long ago. But the note went unanswered as she removed her hand._

Tears were streaming down both women's faces.

"When they first pulled Fitz from the ocean it wasn't just his breathing they had to restart; his heart wasn't beating. He was considered dead when they pulled him out, but they got both his heart and breath going again." Jemma felt the words catch in her throat but she had to get this out now. "While I was treading water waiting for them to find and pull us out, I felt the pain in my side disappear. He _died_  in my arms in that ocean."

"But he's alive now," Bobbi pointed out.

"And he can't stand being in the same room as me; I lost him after his death even if he's still living. My very presence _hurts_  him; I can see it in his eyes. While I need to hear him, see him, just be _near_  him to not… to not feel like I'm losing my mind."

"You've never told him any of that have you? That you thin- that he _is_ your soulmate?"

"Oh Lord no," Jemma exclaimed getting to her feet and finally closing the case she'd been inspecting. "Because what if he doesn't have a soulmarker? What if he does and I'm not _his_? I mean, I'm probably not. I mean, not even considering the sheer odds…"

Jemma couldn't think of anything worse right now. He thinks she hates him, that she chose to leave him- abandoned him. That she somehow thought less of him because of his brain damage. She could _never_  let him know the truth.

"That's tough," Bobbi offers stoically. "I wish I could give you some advice but I don't have a soulmark or ever even been friends with a guy first."

Bobbi answered the silent question in her eye, "It's always been a rollercoaster. Fast out the gate; hit the drop, the turn, the loop, the screeching halt; then back in line to do it all again."

"But is it worth it?" Jemma asked feebly, wondering if she will ever feel the kind excited happiness she could see in Bobbi's expression as she explained her view of love.

"I'll let you know when it's over."

Bobbi turned starting to leave. After a few steps she turned back. "You know, at the very least, you should be honest with him. If you don't have trust…"

Bobbi didn't finish it, but they both smiled softly and went back to their preparations.

*-*-*

{L.FITZ IV}

[2x12-Who You Really Are]

Fitz looked across at Skye and the way her fear and nerves were radiating off her

"The whole room was shaking, Fitz. The gun in my hand exploded."

"Oh, god," he softly exclaimed. The possibilities that this could mean raced through his brain.

"I thought that I could handle it, but I can't. It's too much. I think we have to tell Coulson what's happening."

Fitz felt dread course through him at her suggestion. "Hang on. Wait. Just wait until I've or… analysed…"

"I can't control it when I get upset, or nervous," Skye cut him off.

"I know. I know. I know," he placates her. "Alright, but are you not nervous about what would happen if…," he looked around his own nerves making him paranoid, "if…if you reveal it to them? Have you heard Simmons and her deadly artillery program?"

"Simmons is just upset about Trip," she reasoned. "She's trying to stop bad things from happening."

"With a shoot first policy? I don't recognise her right now."

And that hurt more than he could ever articulate. Before he had any damage too. Did that cause some other damage to what he'd once thought of as their bond?

"Do you recognise any of us? Everything is backwards."

"I recognise the Simmons I trust," he confessed.

He could still hear the warmth in her voice; see it in her eyes; feel her comforting presence as she placed her hand on his shoulder. Simmons as she stood when he had a chance of a happily ever after with her.

Back before anything had changed.

Before **_every_** thing had changed.

Before she'd been infected with that alien virus. Before a pulse had knocked life and consciousness from her. Before she'd tried to die to keep the old team safe. Before the madness with Hydra. Before Ward betrayed them. Before he pushed that button and gave his last breath for her. Before he'd felt like his life was cursed.

Because he still remembered that Jemma.

Taking a deep breath Fitz continued explaining, "Because I was talking to her recently." He looked at Skye and saw the confliction on her face. "Yeah, that was a thing that… I was seeing Simmons. I wasn't talking to myself, I was talking to her."

"Okay. Like hallucinating her?"

"Yeah. Full conversations. She was very supportive."

A tense silence fell between them. Fitz could see the look of hesitance, fear and uncertainty on her face. She was struggling to think of what to say to him. Just like everyone else when they thought he wasn't looking.

"That look you're giving me right now is the exact look everyone is going to give you if you tell them. Please," he begged, "I'm just as- Just let-let me figure out-"

"I don't care about stink eye," she said bravely.

"That's the least of our problems."

Fitz knew how single minded Jemma could be when she saw something as a threat. If she aimed that at Skye… He was scared she would lose more of herself than she already had in what had happened to them- all of them. She'd grown colder since the pod.

Harder.

"How many more problems can we have?" Skye asked her exasperation starting to come through.

"I'm running that diagnostic on your blood samples right now. Hopefully when it's done we'll have a solution. Then there's nothing you…"

He faded off as he heard footsteps approaching. It was Hunter.

"Sorry to interrupt," he paused looking between them, "whatever this is. Just wanted to check out the new toys from sci-tech. Okay," he said with a raise eyebrow and walking to the case. He took it down and started opening it.

"I'm gonna scour the web for 'key' references," Skye said latching onto the excuse to leave.

Fitz nervously nodded and didn't even offer anything but turned and walked in the opposite direction.

*-*-*

{J.SIMMONS VII}

[2x13- One of Us]

Jemma felt dread keep rising in her the more she looked into what exactly had happened to Skye.

"I wonder where she's off to," Bobbi commented nodding out to the hall from her perch behind her.

Jemma caught out of the corner of her eye May walking determinedly down the hall.

"Another question in the long list of questions I don't have answers to," Jemma sighed.

"What is it?" Bobbi moved beside her.

"Coulson asked me to complete Skye's Index file to the best of my ability." Jemma sighed looking at the screen. Reluctantly she admitted, "I'm afraid my best is woefully insufficient."

"Bizarre. The extra macromolecules."

"Raina's DNA is the same. The Mist triggered something inside of them, something waiting to be activated. But how Skye is able to …"

There was a knock at the door and Jemma let the words die in her throat. Fitz stood there and Jemma felt her heart lurch. She could hardly look at him for the pain that swelled in her when she realised _how_  out of sync they now were.

"Sorry, I'm just, um, looking for…" he mumbled barely taking his eyes off the ground. "Oh." Whatever it was exactly, Jemma wasn't sure she even cared anymore, he walked up to the case and picked it up. "Got it."

She remained silent till his figure had completely left her sight back towards the garage.

"…able to create a vibrational force. That I don't understand at all," Jemma finished keeping her eyes on the screen.

"How long are you gonna give him…?"

"He lied to me," Jemma cut her off.

"We're spies," Bobbi exclaimed indignantly. "We lie for a living. Fitz's intentions were good. He wanted to protect a friend."

"From me?!" Jemma looked at her allowing all her hurt to shine in her eyes. "And how is that protecting her? Corrupting data, altering test results. Fitz and I shared science. It was sacred." Jemma took a deep breath trying to refocus and not allow her emotions to blind her anymore. She walked over to the table and tried to focus on new results on the table. "Now that's changed, too."

Or rather she's learning that it was probably changed months ago. Like with everything else she once thought was going to be a constant in her life it was out of her reach now.

Fitz.

A life with her soulmate.

Science being most sacred over everything; even the other's feelings.

How often had he told her the truth regardless of how it may have hurt her over a project she'd spent months working on? When the data had completely disproved her whole hypothesis? Or when there was no plausible deniability over her sister's diagnosis? He had confronted her with the facts; not letting her wishful hope of anything else compromise that. And now he changed this data, these facts to… what?

How can she possibly help Skye if she doesn't have reliable data to start with?

And why do this now for Skye?

Clearly Skye actually meant more to him than anything they had, or could have had.

"I have to accept that he's different now and our relationship won't ever be what it was. We'll never get back what we once had. Or once might have been."

"A little early to sound the funeral bells, don't you think?"

"A betrayal of trust like that?" Jemma shook her head and tried to focus on the data before her and try to figure which he'd changed and which were still accurate. "It changes everything."

It proves that she lost him when he pushed that button at the bottom of the ocean and gave his last breath to her. Fitz her soulmate would never have doubted her. He never would have put another friendship before theirs.

She just had to accept it and move on.

Somehow.

*-*-*

{L.FITZ V}

[2x14-Love in the Time of Hydra]

Fitz could only stand there while he watched Coulson walk away. This is exactly what he was afraid of. Where had they taken Skye? What had they done to her?

How could he find out? He wasn't as quick to be able to get into the back channels he used to with Simmons on their own.

Jemma!

Turning back into the lab her walked up to her.

"You took something, up to Coulson earlier. What was it?"

"It was nothing," she answered meeting his eye away from the screen.

She was still a horrible liar. How had she ever survived undercover? No, serious **_how_**?

"Didn't look like nothing," Fitz corrected her crossing his arms. "What was in the case, Jemma?"

"Something to help Skye." Her smile didn't reach her eyes and Fitz felt something sting along his side.

"Because you want to change her, is that it?" Fitz pressed, and he couldn't stop bitterness from seeping into his tone.

"Stop it," she snapped. "I don't want to change Skye. The Diviner did that. I'm just trying to fix her."

Fix her? Why did the thought of change scare her so much now? It used to be a challenge that she would meet happily. Nervously, but she always held her ground and that was one of the things he most admired about her.

But now she was just acting out of fear.

"You never used to be this scared, you know that?"

"Trip died, Fitz. All because we didn't take the necessary precautions."

Right, Trip. Like he could ever measure up to _that_  specimen of a man. Why did he ever think she could see him anything more than just her nerdy lab-partner friend?

But what was that look in her eye?

It wasn't about Trip. What was it? Why couldn't he tell anymore? Why was he so unsure about reading her?!

"No, it's not that. You're afraid 'cause of what happened to me and Skye, how we both changed."

Yes. There it was. There's something else there behind her eyes. Something concerning… him? But what was it? Why can't he read her expression anymore? And that realisation rips through him.

He doesn't know how to read her expression.

Does he even know her anymore?

"But you know what the scariest change is, Jemma? It's you."

Well, that expression he does know.

Hurt.

He'd just hurt her. Probably would have been kinder to slap her in the face. But if that's what it takes for her to wake up to what she's becoming, then so be it.

He leaves her to think on that as he makes a hasty exit from the lab and the woman he once knew.

The _animæ_ was right. He should never have let his hopes rise at the thought of them having the kind of bond that could survive a near-death experience. It had changed her as much as the brain damage had him. And he wasn't sure they could find a middle ground again.

*-*-*

{L. FITZ VI}

[2x20-Scars]

Fitz hovered in the lab by Jemma as she kept packing the bag she was taking to Afterlife. He wasn't doing anything to help just reviling in being in Jemma's presence without it being tense and awkward.

"You sure you don't need any help with the Indexing?" Fitz asked, stretching some spare wire over his shoulders.

"Do you actually want to?" Jemma asked giving him a long side glance.

They'd made such improvements in their communication and as brave a face as he wanted to put on for Jemma he didn't want to lie to her either. Fitz paused in thought for a moment before he shook his head vigorously, no.

"You almost died last time," he commented unable to keep his wariness out of his voice.

"Last time was Hydra and Ward," she quickly commented back. "And even that worked out mostly okay," she added, mainly to herself.

She avoided his eyes. 'Mostly okay' was Bakshi's death. The death of her tormentor and abuser during her time in Hydra. But if he knew Jemma, and soulmate-ness aside, he felt he did, she was beating herself up over her attempt on Ward.

"You know, you shouldn't feel bad about Ward. I wanted to…" He took a deep breath as he struggled to confess it and get the words out, "kill him, too. And I couldn't." He tilted to try and meet her eye. He gave her a small encouraging shrug. "It means we're better than him."

She met his eye and a cold dread filled him at the look in her eye.

"I did try to kill him, Fitz. And I'm kicking myself that I failed. The next terrible thing he does is on me.

It hit Fitz like a jarring out of tune note in the middle of your favourite song. Jemma really meant it.

She regrets not having killed Ward.

Just when he thought they were back in sync something like this, a comment, an action, reminds him they're not seamlessly on the same wavelength anymore. And Fitz didn't know what it would take for them to get there again. He was scared what it could take. He felt helpless as he watched her leave the lab to face who knew what.

*-*-*

{L. FITZ VII}

[2x22-SOS]

Fitz heard someone rush into the locker room as he was putting together the gadget bag he was taking with him the _liad_. He didn't need to turn to know it was Jemma, the tingle on his right side told him that before he turned and confirmed it with his eyes.

"You'll be careful?"

"I won't be careful," he bit back tersely as he resumed packing his bag. "I'll get the job done."

Why did everyone doubt him? He could be just as fearless as any other agent.

"Well," he heard her enter the room, "watch your back because I just saw Hunter with Bobbi, and it made me realise that, I…"

That she what? Fitz felt something inside him prickle to attention. This sounded like a conversation he should be giving more attention to.

Jemma gave a shaky sigh.

"Well, it's just that… We never really spoke about what you said to be at the bottom of the ocean."

Fitz felt his spine straighten and his side itch like it had on only two other occasions. Slowly he turned and looked at her allowing her see how stunned her words were leaving him.

"This? Now?" He couldn't stop himself from pointing to the ground to help illustrate his disbelief. "You want to talk about this now?"

He had to look away in shocked disbelief. That boat had long sailed. They were two completely different people now.

"No," she choked out with a hoarse and false chuckle. "We… We don't… I… It means a lot to me that we're friends again. And I, um… Maybe when you get back, we could finally just talk about it?"

He finally looked into her misty eyes as he started, "It's…" He sighed, deeply. "There's nothing to discuss, Jemma."

They weren't the people they were then. She deserved better than what he could now offer her, and he was still coming to terms with the way the changing situation of SHIELD was changing the woman he was in love with. Regardless of the mark on the side of his body.

He shouldered his bag and went to walk pass her and out of the room.

He froze when her hand shot out grab his.

"Maybe there is," she breathed out.

Stunned, he met her eyes and saw the emotion he'd seen in them numerous times in the last year, but had been unable to identify it. But here; now, he could.

It was love.

Not the friendly platonic love they'd always shared unwaveringly in their years of friendship. But **_more_**.

There was more to her look, to what she wanted to discuss with him if he returned.

"Agent Fitz, we're on the move," Coulson called sticking his head in the door. Not waiting for his reply the Director kept moving.

Fitz shared a long look with Jemma. He wanted to finish this discussion. But he didn't want it to be a rushed.

For that to happen he had to return.

For **_this_** , he would make sure he did.

Fitz didn't know how to articulate what was running through his head. So he didn't. He gave Jemma one last look, pouring all his desire for them to finish this _when_  he got back. Not wanting to drag this out any further than he had to Fitz turned and followed Coulson, leaving her in the locker, praying she understood his look and what he couldn't get out.

*-*-*

{B.MORSE I}

[post 02x22- SOS pt2]

"Bob. Hey, you're awake," Hunter cooed gently.

Something was wrong. Bobbi could feel it. She could see it Hunter's eyes. The injured agent tried to sit up.

"Hunter?"

He looked at her guilty, clearly having meant to keep this from her.

"The surgery?" she asked, nervously, dread filling her. Her leg still felt numb from the anaesthetic and craning her neck to look at it. Nothing _looked_  off.

"No." Hunter quickly reassured her. "The surgery went perfectly. Everything with you is _fine_."

Relief flooded her and she collapse back into the pillow. "Oh thank god, because your face when I woke up…" Bobbi chuckled.

Her chuckle stopped when she realised Hunter wasn't joining her.

"Hunter?"

Hunter looked around awkwardly, and the dread she'd previous felt returned ten-fold.

"Hunter."

"Something has happened, Bob," he started more than a little anxiously. "And- and it's not good news."

"What? Who?" Bobbi tried to sit up again, but Hunter tried to push her back into the pillow. " ** _Who_**?"

"Simmons," he whispered gently.

Shock coursed through her and she slackened back into the bed.

"She disappeared two nights ago. Security footage shows that that monolith you had on that boat of yours liquefied and swallowed her up."

"What!? _Swallowed_  her?"

"Fitz is loosing it. They're trying to get as many readings and information on that thing as they can, but they don't know what to make of it. They don't even know where to-"

Hunter stopped as noise from the other side of the make-shift hospital/ lab made them both look over. Bobbi felt like the breath in her lung was suddenly stolen from her as she met Fitz's eye across the space.

A haunting note resonated within her at that moment. It was something she had put away in her mind. The moment she'd touched Jemma's soulmark. This was that last haunting note. Fitz was the note calling out to void hoping- _praying_ \- for a reply. Cold dread settled over Bobbi's heart.

Jemma was gone.

No. No she wouldn't just accept that. She couldn't.

Barbara Morse made a promise to herself that day; as long as Fitz was looking- search for Jemma, she would help and support him in whatever way she could. Because if Fitz was looking, then she was alive. She couldn't believe for one second that Jemma wasn't every bit Fitz's soulmate like Fitz was Jemma's.

She would help these soulmates find each other again. She would help him find Jemma, to whatever end. And for however long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm unsure if I will be doing a third chapter for this, as I would be waiting for Season 3 to be affordable on DVD down here in Australia, and while I might be able to get it for my birthday or Christmas- we are approaching summer here and I don't intend to be pasty at the end of the season. And the more time I have to casually think on this the more I'm torturing poor FitzSimmons... :P
> 
> Also, for anyone who was curious The soulmarks are just Latin terms (care of Google translate):  
> initium- first words  
> verbis- last words  
> mutate verba- changing words


End file.
